I want a part time job as a retiree.
Work.
We were supposed to work to live, but we end up living to work. What happens to the money earned? Its spent on crap items like cubic watermelons.
Commit Suicide.
Cook an egg in your microwave.
If all else fails, chop your head off with a spreader.
An Alternative
The toilet paper is a much more cheaper and accessible version of the traditional parchment.
To Name A New Product
..and so they got a psychologist to discuss the positive and negative impacts on their consumers if they were to launch a new product called Fuck on the market.